I WON MY WIFE IN A BETMarcos and I were friends since we were children. In January 1946, the year in which we would turn

I WON MY WIFE IN A BETMarcos and I were friends since we were children. In January 1946, the year in which we would turn six, we entered together, but separately, into the nursery school run by Salesian nuns in the same building that housed the Salesian school of Atocha. When both of us entered kindergarten at the same time and we were the only ones who did so with the advanced course, they put us together at the same desk, which made us immediately establish a good friendship. On the other hand, our families also ended up becoming intimate, since it happened that we both lived on the same street, the same sidewalk and a few meters from each other: Only three others were between their doorway and mine. So our mothers were there when taking us to and from school, which meant that they immediately made the trips to and from the school together. But it happened that Marcos and I were very different in character: He is talkative, extroverted, friendly and intelligent, but very indolent, not very hard-working and weak-willed; He is not constant in anything and takes everything lightly. When we moved on to high school and thanks to his keen intelligence, he immediately grasped the teacher's explanations and, although he opened a book throughout the course, by studying a little the two or three weeks before the final exam he managed to at least pass the course, if not completely in June, then between June and September. I, on the other hand, am quite shy and introverted, so almost no one likes me very much. Without being a fool, I'm not overly intelligent either, come on, just enough to get by. On the other hand, I am tenacious and I strive to achieve what I set out to do. During high school and by studying a lot, I achieved good grades, passing the courses in June. But despite everything, it captivated me from the first moment. He certainly has a strong personality despite his natural indolence. Because his indolence is only for what represents effort, not to become the leader of parties and merriments. And children's jokes or quarrels. Finally, since September 1950, and after passing the entrance exam in June of that year, we completed the six years of high school plus Pre-University, so in September 1957, at the age of 17, we entered the University, both of us in the Faculty of Medicine. There we found that, almost more than attending class, they went to the Faculty bar where they set up some poker games that were already happening. Logically, we had already known the game for at least a year, but without being too interested in it, but in college we became regulars at the game to be, five years later, almost convulsive players. Six years later, at 23, we finished our degree. Marcos decided to stop studying and, after a few months of laziness, urged by his father, he found work in a neighborhood clinic, where he was not paid badly but not well at all. A simple pass, to leave some money at home and live your life. He also began to take exams for Social Security. I preferred to do the MIR to specialize in surgery, which meant five more years of study and very poorly paid, but if you want something, it costs you something. We continued with our poker hobby, but now we were moving on from innocent games with friends. Gambling in Spain was prohibited, but in cities like Madrid there were clandestine gambling halls where you could win or lose significant sums in a short time. We became regulars at one of them, where the least money was played, and the table where the least was played. We went, at most, a couple of days a week, and that was if we had a bit of money. When we were especially good at night, that week we would go one more day or we would save the money to go the following week. It was around the time we were 26 that we met Claudia, as always both of us at the same time. A mutual friend introduced her to us one afternoon and Marcos really liked her, and she didn't like him at all. The girl, without being a “cannon” of a woman, was beautiful and attractive. Rather tall, thin but with enough curves to attract male gazes as she passes by, and above all, very pleasant to deal with. He had what we call an angel. His face conveyed a breath of candidness, of kindness that won you over. After ten minutes of dealing with her, you had been captivated more by her human quality and the highly feminine manners she exuded than by her undoubted beauty. I fell madly in love with her as soon as I met her. But the shy and untalkative boy he once was became a shy and shy man in front of women. I liked them a lot, I fell in love with all of them instantly, but I also had a hard time connecting with them. I would shy away from them, without self-confidence in those moments and of course, my talk, my treatment was the most insipid and least attractive that could be given. And with Claudia it was no exception, I barely managed to say two or three stupid things that would make people sad in those moments, and in the following moments when we saw each other the same thing again. She joined the group of friends from the beginning and since then she did not miss any of the parties that we regularly organized on Sundays and holidays, monopolized by Marcos when it came to dancing. I looked at them with envy and... with a lot of jealousy... I was dying of jealousy when I saw them dancing together, so close together, with their cheeks so joined that it seemed they would merge into one from one moment to the next. And the inevitable happened, that one day Marcos told me that Claudia and he were already dating. I thought I would die at that moment, but I braved it and, quite naturally, told him that I was happy for both of them, that they made a very good couple and all the things that are said in such cases. From that day on my heart broke, I felt broken inside, because I really loved her. I felt at the same time full of jealousy, even a little hurt, or rather, very angry with Marcos, and from then on I began to avoid them a little. It couldn't be any other way, because seeing them together, cuddling, always holding hands was unbearable for me. So I began to “have” guards every other day and the next as well. All for not going out with them, for not seeing them. Time passed like this, I barely left La Paz and they went off on their own. Until a few months later, when I was almost 28 and was finally about to finish the MIR, a miracle occurred: One of the intern nurses from La Paz started talking to me, meeting me, by chance of course, at the restaurant when I was going to eat and so on! I couldn't believe it, I didn't understand how a girl who wasn't a "Malay callow" but who was not at all bad would have noticed me. What would he have seen in me that no one had seen before! I was interested in what I found yesterday, which by the way I didn't find anything, but I let myself be loved. What if I wasn't going to do it! As the saying goes, “don't look a gift horse in the mouth.” I didn't look at the tooth, but I did end up putting it on top of it. The girl must have been quite outgoing because she ate me alive as soon as I hit her with something, and what do you want me to say, oh miracle! I finally made my debut. That could not remain anonymous: That I, Carlos's "glanders", finally had a "chorba" to take to.... well,... better not to say it. So I ran jubilantly to tell Marcos the good news. If I ever find out what happened, I won't do it: The very “goat” burst into laughter when I told him that he came out with a “jay” saying. Wow Carlitos, you're finally getting a girl! It's about time, “male” who was beginning to believe that you would die without getting wet! I would have killed him at that moment. But I didn't do it, because the two couples agreed to go out whenever my “chorba” and I were free. Well, Marcos lived that you don't see. Finally a Social Security doctor, he worked five or six hours in the mornings and therefore had free afternoons, except for the three hours each week he attended the clinic where he started working. Come on, he had done quite well, working not too much but earning good pesetas, not like me who was a pariah. But my time would come, when I finished the MIR and was a true surgeon. So the two couples were dating for a while. But that didn't work, because my infatuation with Claudia, which had been cooling down a bit since I went out with the "chorba", was reborn with impetus and my jealousy and bad mood returned. To make matters worse, Claudia was even kinder to me, she even became a good friend of mine, and that made everything even worse. It was almost better when he looked at me casually, without looking at me as it were. So I cut off those outings, returning to focus on our intimate duality, my baby and I. The two of us continued going out alone for another two or three months. The nights that we both had free were spent in the apartment that, half with another nurse, I lived in, both of us in bed together. Until one night, after the usual romps, the girl told me that we had to suspend the “interviews” for a few days because her boyfriend was coming to see her. Working with her aunt, sleeping with me while her boyfriend pined for her in the distance! What a bitch the dead fly was coming out of me! I got up somewhat disgusted, got dressed and went to my apartment, because by then I had already left my parental home, something at that time, the late 60s, was not yet so normal, since the typical thing in good families, like Marcos's and mine, was that the children did not leave home except to contract a canonical holy marriage. Our 28 years arrived. I finished the MIR and joined a surgical team in La Paz as an assistant to a famous trauma surgeon Come on, something like the “errand boy” of that eminence. So he continued learning, in practice, but with more decent salaries, almost double what he had when he was a simple MIR but, in any case, a pittance compared to what the “medical eminence” earned, even his deputies who, after all, were full-fledged surgeons after passing the assistant period. For his part, Marcos began to talk about marrying Claudia, which sank me deeper and deeper into the misery of jealousy and bad mood. In truth, I could hardly stand him anymore, with all the teasing about his girlfriend. One of those days Marcos committed the big mess with Claudia, which caused our final breakup and that of the two of them. That was one of the days when I left early, around two in the afternoon, after finishing the hospital day. So we had met around 3 p.m. in a slum located in the most low-lying area of Madrid's prostitution, near La Ballesta Street, in whose back room a very interesting timba was set up: Sussiduos used to be pimps who exploited the women who "worked" in the area, sirleros, careless men and other varied fauna of the most select of the underworld; and gentlemen skulls of the middle and upper Madrid bourgeoisie, who often came with one or another whore who helped leave them "dry" by getting them drunk and showing their game to the crowd using signs, going half-heartedly with the "turkeys" who were knitting at the table. Marcos and I also benefited from these maneuvers, as seasoned players that we were, seasoned in a thousand and one games with similar guys. Of course, sharing, yes, the possible profits with the whore. Before three in the afternoon we met and it was not yet 3:30 p.m. when we joined the timba. We shared a table with a couple of the local's regular "turkeys" and another pair of skull-headed "babies" who smelled like money from a distance, two good "white horses" or "pigeons" who of course ended up "plucked." Around seven in the afternoon, Marcos and I were face to face, having abandoned both the "turkeys" and the "pigeons" from the game, some with some winnings, the others entirely. “clean”. I was in one of those lucky streaks that only occasionally come along. Just as Marcos's personality and mine are very different, so are our ways of playing. As befits his aggressive and vehement temperament, he was very “intense” when playing, almost always going for everything; It is also almost transparent in the game so it was not difficult to guess when it is “loaded”, that is, with good cards. I am reserved and I think a lot about the play, taking just enough risks, because my rest could not compare to Marcos's, so I had to take care of him by playing with lead feet. This made it transparent for the "turkeys" as well, because when I sent or accepted interesting bets, I invariably had a "game", then the "turkey" only went if his game was more than good, so that on an afternoon or night when the goddess Fortune presented her best face to me, it was better to retire with some benefit rather than continue taking risks with me. But Marcos is not like that. He always until the end. He finished what he thought was going to be the last hand, because he lost it and was also left clean. I began to collect my money, about fifty or sixty thousand pesetas, quite a lot for that time. Patience and shuffle Marcos! What are you going to do, you know, sometimes you win, other times you lose, and today it was time... Carlos, please, give me the last chance to recover, give my rest a credit of twenty thousand pesetas, you know that tomorrow I will return it to you if I lose again! For me I would have accepted, but I knew that that among the "parish" of the slum would not have gone down well, the unwritten rules prohibited it and I could lose respect among the people who so It was hard for me to conquer. No, I couldn't risk such a thing, so I replied. Furthermore, Marcos had met Claudia at seven, and it was practically time Marcos, it's done for me, but you know the house rules: Cash on the mat or enough value for the players who compete. Credits or loans, nothing at all. Also, haven't you met Claudia at seven? Well, it's almost time, you're already late as he says. Leave it, Marcos, there will be other days... Well, okay, Carlos... Now that you remind me... you're right, an effective counterpart that has value for you. It's a week with Claudia against the rest of you! I was stunned by such nonsense! It was not possible, Marcos must have been crazy to do such an atrocity! Have you gone crazy Marcos? It's not possible for you to propose that, it's Claudia, your girlfriend...! It's a monstrosity, a filth that she doesn't deserve! She loves you delirious and I think you love her too, so... How can you even think such a thing? It is not possible Marcos, unless you are not in your right mind. As I said Carlitos, go for it: A week with Claudia, yes, with Claudia my girlfriend, against your rest! Look Carlitos, I'm going to put it better for you, against half of your rest; Take advantage of the fact that you will not have another opportunity like this in your life. Yes, Claudia and I already see how you ogle her every time you have her around! Ha ha ha. What I said, Carlitos, take advantage... ha, ha, ha I looked at him, seeing him as he really was for the first time in my life, and the idol that he had always been for me crumbled: It had been a clay idol that had just collapsed before me. I felt immense rage... That this trash had subjugated me, that I had come to commit so many abhorrent acts to imitate him, to imitate that idol...! How ashamed of myself... how mean I had become for wanting to be at his level... It's funny... at his level! I felt disgust for myself, but above all disgust for him. But the worst thing was that such human rot had earned the love of Claudia, the most beautiful, good and wonderful being in the universe. He was angry, but at the same time cold; My face expressed nothing except perhaps that, ice-coldness. And so, cold and calm, I replied: Okay Marcos, I see your bet, a week with Claudia against half of my rest. And I'm going to send you Marcos, you already know that I have the right to raise your bet: My complete rest against a month with Claudia. Furthermore, let's make it clear that during the time that I have to be with her, you disappear from our environment. Take it or leave it; but keep in mind that if you don't accept you withdraw from the game and I win your bet, a week with Claudia. Marcos was sweating; He was livid but he looked at my money with infinite greed and finally made up his mind. I'm going Carlos, a month with Claudia against your rest. According to Marcos; although I want you to think about it. I even want you to withdraw your first bet, the one of the week. Think about it Marcos, it's Claudia, the girlfriend you don't deserve, the best woman in the world and the one you planned to marry soon. Will you allow her to get the shock of knowing that you are risking her, your girlfriend, the woman you should defend from everything and against everything, at the table of a filthy dive? Because Marcos, even if you win the bet, she will find out because I will tell her. I said I was going and I am going. Okay, Marcos. I am a hand to win first, then deal Damn! For the first time that afternoon it seemed that the goddess turned her back on me, because I was dealt five cards in disarray, with no way to tie anything together. And for the first time in my playing life I lost my temper, because the “Damn it” came out, thoughtlessly, out loud. Marcos burst out laughing, with a gleam of unhealthy joy in his eyes and a sardonic smile on his lips. What's wrong Carlitos, you're out of luck? Well, what you were saying, patience friend, it will be ha, ha, ha again. I didn't answer that, I just said, discarding four letters that I left on the table. Give me four. Like these. I'm served ha ha ha I couldn't believe what appeared before my eyes when I saw the cards that Marcos served me. When I discarded I thought, at first, to keep a king, the highest card I had in my hand, but in the end I was left with a queen, the one of hearts, the Lady of my heart, Claudia. (jack in the Spanish deck) And Marcos had served me three queens and a six! When I opened my game on the table showing my four queens, my poker of checkers, Marcos looked livid, discomposed. He furiously threw his cards on the table, which I immediately grabbed to see the full house of aces and jacks he had. He collapsed on the table in tears, saying It can't be, it can't be... if you weren't carrying anything, not even a couple! You cheated on me! That's right, you've got three queens out of your sleeve! Of course, and if it had been a fives poker I would have gotten three fives out of your sleeve! Accept it Marcos, you've lost. We were the center of attention of the “parroquia” that then almost filled the timba, with customers from the adjacent bar who had come to the hovel attracted by the peculiar game that Marcos and I were playing. Five of the usual “turkeys” of the timba had even approached the table, the chulo and the sirlero who had previously sat with us, plus two other chulos and another one I didn't know. Then Julio, the pimp who played with us before, intervened. Marcos, Carlos has beaten you in a fair fight, so you accept it, screw yourself and pay what you bet. If you lose this bet with me, I'll "shoe" your "jay", by hook or by crook, but I'll "throw" it; So you're lucky that it was Carlos who beat you; He will return it to you in full because he is a gentleman. Marcos's face went from livid to red, almost, almost to maroon for seconds. We could clearly see how a dull rage gradually took over him, but also how the attitude of those people around us, true criminals, became increasingly hostile towards him and that scared him. Those people, miserable and low, respected a code of honor that Marcos did not respect and for them, the young doctor was a vile rat that they would like to destroy. But he had to maintain the type of jacket, then more than ever, so he composed himself, the typical disdainful, even malevolent smile appeared on his lips, saying. Well, take advantage of it Carlos! Although I'm sure you're going to take little advantage of the opportunity because Claudia despises you! We have rarely laughed, she and I, remembering your crazy face when you look at her! You drool, Carlitos, you drool with desire when you have her near... and that's the only thing you know how to do in front of a woman, Carlitos, drool! Marcos, you are a filthy being, a degenerate, you don't know what you have and you don't deserve Claudia, you will never make her happy because you will never make anyone happy; You are incapable of loving anyone but yourself. You are an egoist who cares about nothing but yourself. Today, for the first time, when you bet on Claudia, I saw you as you are.... And you make me sick, Marcos, you make me sick! A few hours ago I shook your hand and it is the last time I will do so because I never want to see you again. This will also be the last time that she has a deck of cards in her hand, since the poison of the game was also no stranger to what has happened, to Claudia having to endure the bad experience that awaits her. Well, you know what I'm telling you? I'm glad Carlos, it's good to always have you attached to my pants, like a little lap dog, it's time for you to deal with it yourself, without my help, as has been happening since we met as kids! Since then I have tried to make a man of you, but it is impossible, because you are a sissy and you always will be. Whatever you say, but what I am not is the selfishly bestial entity that you are. The entity that not only cares about anyone, but also delights in doing as much damage as possible. But don't think that you're going to get out of this so easily: It was almost seven o'clock, the time you met Claudia, when you started all this nonsense of taking a chance, when you had to pick her up you were taking a chance on me. Do you expect me to be the one to go find her and tell her what happened? Well, you're wrong, you come with me, you explain how you gambled and lost, and then you disappear from my sight forever. Don't even dream of such a thing! I've told you before, you solve your problems. Didn't you win the bet? Well, you solve it, don't count on me. Have a minimum of decency.... Don't worry Carlos, Marcos will gladly accompany you to meet the "jay", right Marcos? It was Julio, the pimp, who interrupted me and spoke looking at Marcos in a clearly threatening manner, with his right hand buried in the back pocket of his pants, where we well knew he kept the "chaira", a monumental 18 or 20 cm knife. of leaf. At the time of speaking he had approached Marcos ominously: but the bad thing is that he did not do this action alone, but accompanied by four or five other equally frowning “colleagues”. The lividity returned, even more acute, to Marcos' face who, huffing, took his jacket and, without looking at anyone, walked towards the street mumbling. Let's get going, let's get this over with! We exit the street followed, at a distance, by Julio and his “entourage” of “colleagues”. In silence, without even looking at each other, we took San Bernardo Street to go down to Gran Vía, reaching the Callao roundabout where Marcos was meeting Claudia. Sure enough, Claudia was there, waiting for more than an hour. As we approached her I noticed how very angry she was; and I grumbled to myself, “You're pissed off and you still don't know what awaits you.” I felt sorry, very sorry. There she was, faithful to her man, to her boyfriend; angry but waiting, enduring the “stand-in” of more than an hour from that boyfriend who didn't deserve her. The surprising thing was that he didn't take the matter as badly as I expected, although later I understood that his reaction was pure suppressed anger, not expressed in order to hurt that felon boyfriend more. So, he only said when he found out what happened Well, Marcos, gambling debts are sacred, and I don't allow my boyfriend to look bad in front of anyone. So, for a month Carlos will be my boyfriend, and with all the boyfriend rights that you take on. You understand?. He will kiss me, he will caress me just like you do. I may even do with him what I have not yet allowed you to do: go to bed! Do you still understand? Oh, and during this month don't even think about calling me or getting in my sight. Then, when this month passes... we'll see if I come back to you... I may even stay with Carlos permanently! Claudia was taking revenge in Marcos's way; He was even cruel to him and I gloated. Then, before Marcos had time to release the toads and snakes that the ferocious expression on his face, underlined by the maroon-red color of his face, announced, a free taxi happened to pass by, which Claudia immediately stopped, raising her arm and, practically dragging me behind her, she made us both get into the car, at the same time, shouting very loudly so that she could be heard, she said: "Take me to your house Carlos." The taxi took off immediately because, at the same time she was saying that, pulling the handlebar of the door, I asked the driver to take us out of there. Once we were moving and with both of us settled, the taxi driver asked where we were going, to which Claudia told me Give the Lord your address. Today I want to make love with you, I want to be a woman once and for all. Marcos is going to find out how my mother's daughter spends her money! I only asked the taxi driver to take us out of there, and we would give him an address. Then, almost hysterical, Claudia replied I am so worthless that Marcos plays cards with me and you, who participated in the infamy by winning me, now reject me! Driver, please take us to a place where we can talk calmly, without crowds or loud music. As you can see, the lady is quite upset. Understood, sir. There is a club nearby that I hope is what they are looking for. During all this, I had put my arm around Claudia's shoulders, pulling her slightly towards me. So I told her. Don't talk nonsense Claudia, you know that's not the case. And please don't tempt me, I'd say you know how I feel about you. Now, through your mouth, it only speaks more than anger for the humiliation you have suffered. You will calm down and you will be grateful for this "rejection." Her nerves due to the damage that the humiliation that Marcos subjected her to caused her to break down at that moment and she burst into tears with a heartbreak that deeply hurt my heart. I held her even closer to me, trying to calm those tears, those moans and gasps that drowned out her sounds and made her chest rise and fall rapidly. I told him in his ear. "Come on little one, my girl, don't cry anymore, dry those tears, nothing deserves even a single one of your tears." Claudia had abandoned herself to the protection I offered her, snuggling against my chest. This is how we were when the taxi stopped in front of a typical establishment in the Salamanca neighborhood: A doorman with a livery at the door and a pavilion-shaped awning on the façade, over the door. The doorman let us in and we met in the living room. A glance was enough to confirm that, indeed, it was what I was looking for. Secluded place, smaller than big, soft musical background, audible but without any stridency that would prevent conversation; Enough lighting so that faces can be seen from a short distance, even read or study, as the case may be, but necessarily dim enough to maintain the privacy of others' curiosity. The people sitting at the tables were, generally, groups of friends who were chatting quietly and very formal dating couples, the kind that at that time, in the late 60s, were so common: Two coffees with milk that lasted the entire afternoon and the girl taking the boy's topics on the exams that he was taking. That is, few cuddling and a lot of studying, a lot of work to clear the horizon of the future that will allow them to get married as soon as possible and live with dignity, but without luxuries. For the two of us I chose a table that seemed far enough away to go unnoticed. I led Claudia there, and helped her take a seat in a chair next to the wall, then I sat down next to her in another chair. She continued with her tears, but now the cries were not as loud, as convulsive as before. I put my arm over her shoulders again, drawing her towards me again, caressing her face again, the hair that she loved so much with all love and delicacy, but without any hint of carnal or double meaning: Only signs of the brotherly affection of a friend. I tried to console her with quiet words of affection, of encouragement; get her out of that morass of pain and humiliation that she suffered. I soon understood that he was beginning to pull himself together, to finally react, when I noticed that he was separating from me, as if rejecting my proximity. I left the chair I was occupying and went to sit in another one across from her, on the other side of the table. I did it, to be honest, uneasy: Had he finally taken my initiatives the wrong way? Something like that seemed to me when he started to tell me Why did you participate in Marcos' humiliation, why didn't you reject his infamous bet? I'm not stupid Carlos, I know you want me, have you fallen so low that you use those means to try to possess me? You have also hurt me a lot, I didn't expect that from you, but I see that you and Marcos are just like that, absolutely despicable beings. And don't come to me now with "hot towels", pretending that you want to console me...! You are almost more despicable than Marcos! I trusted you! Goodbye Carlos, I don't want to see either of you in my life...Claudia tried to get up but I held her back, taking her by the arm. Let go of me, don't touch me, don't put your hands on me anymore! Calm down Claudia, please, you know well that I am not what you are painting me now. You are wrong and you know it. If it were my intentions as you say, why did I reject your intention to give yourself to me not so long ago? Tell me, why? Because I respect you. Yes, of course I want you, and you don't know how, but it's because I love you Claudia, because I adore you, because you are everything to me. And because I love you, I respect you, because what you want is respected. When Marcos put you on the table, betting on you, for the first time I saw him as he was: An inhuman being, full of intrinsic evil and unconcerned with everything that is not his immediate desires, who without hesitation passes on anyone, without caring about the pain he causes, in order to achieve his desires. That being would destroy you, make you miserable and I couldn't accept that, then I went to his bet but in my own way: My rest against a month with you. If he won, he would have time to fully open your eyes about Marcos and if he lost he would give you a background of the type of person he is. Don't believe it, I knew that I ran the risk of losing a small capital and for nothing, well you could well not believe me and take my accusations as a product of spite because he had you and I didn't. But I took the risk to get you to stay away from him. Look Claudia, as you know I love you, I love you madly, but I have completely assumed that you will never love me, that I will never have you; Thus, if one day you fell in love with a man who deserves you, who loves you as I love you and as such respects you and makes you happy, I would feel it, it would hurt me a lot to know that you are with another, as it hurt me to see Marcos and you together when I believed that he loved you as you deserve, but I would accept it, I would put up with it, because for me the important thing is that you are happy, and if it has to be with someone else, well...what am I going to do! But he, Marcos no, no and no. As soon as I started to speak Claudia gave up her efforts to get away from my arm, remaining standing in front of me, defiant and with her eyes blazing with fury. Then I freed his arm. Little by little I noticed that the angry glow was disappearing from her eyes, although she remained serious, rather grim I would say. It seemed that the argument of not having taken advantage of the opportunity when she offered herself to me on a platter was having its effect. After a while that look even softened, and then he even sat down, listening to me attentively. In the end, he held out both hands to me, taking mine between them, with that gesture no longer of cordiality. but of true affection that he usually showed me. He didn't open his mouth until I finished speaking, and then he expressed himself like this: Thank you Carlos, thank you for being the good friend that you are! But I was very confused with you: I felt more than I saw your attention, the affection and sweetness with which you treated me, I felt it softening my state, truly comforting me. That's what I needed in those moments, when I was falling apart in pain and indignation and I took refuge in you as one clings to his lifeline. But I began to recover, thanks precisely to you, and I began to tell myself that you also participated in the horror I suffered.... Both Marcos and you had played me! Carlos was blind, blind with rage and, above all, from the terrible disappointment he had just suffered, and it seemed to me that you were both the same, equally pigs. Please forgive me, don't be angry with me, don't stop being my best friend. I think Carlos that maybe you are the only person, apart from my family, who really loves me. On the other hand, I already knew a lot about Marcos, although I couldn't imagine that he would become so mean. I knew that he always cheated on me when it came to that, that he had some, let's say, "very, very close friends." And I apologized to him: Men need to "relieve themselves" from time to time, but when we got married he would have me for that and the "adventures" would be over. Then the fights he would get into me about anything: I was extremely jealous of you, and every time you left us, after looking at me with those "enthralled idiot" eyes that you had, I would get into trouble for not sending you to... you know, and thus break up with you once and for all. The truth is, deep down, more than appreciating you, he was quite fond of you, although he hid it very well with you. And you can't see how jealous I became in the end. If a guy looked at me on the street, it was my fault for dressing "like that", walking "like that" and so on. Carlos, I was blind with him, but I finally regained my sight... thanks to you! You know, I'm even beginning to doubt that I was really in love with him anymore. And I think maybe not, that if I continued with him, at least in these last few months, it was more out of routine than anything else... Anyway, I don't know... I still have a real mess in my head! Well, hopefully when this is behind me I unravel the mess. But... you know? (his face here took on a somewhat strange expression, somewhere between dreamy and longing)... I loved seeing you with that dumbfounded face when you looked at me. It was clearer than daylight that you liked me and I... I loved liking you! Why wouldn't I fall in love with you, Carlos?...Claudia stopped talking, she remained silent. I was silent too. With our hands intertwined we both looked at each other. Looking at her, I got lost in the depths of the ocean of her beautiful green eyes. She had me imprisoned, captive in her; prisoner of her entire being, of her beauty, of the tranquility that emanated from her. It was my glory and my torment to have her so close and so far away. Lucky bitch!.... Finally it was me who broke the spell of the moment It won't be up to God... or Eros... or Cupid, who knows, that you love me that way. By the way, will you go back to Marcos if he asks you? Not at all, Carlos. Now it makes me sick... no, I don't think I could stand him; his mere presence, simply hearing his voice, would surely make me vomit. No, not Carlos; don't even think about that. I would have to change so much, to be so sure! Absolutely... NO. Well Claudia. There's nothing left for me to do here, with you. I wanted to separate you from Marcos, just for you, to prevent him from making you miserable for the rest of your life, but apparently you've already decided that yourself. May you be very happy and soon find the man who truly deserves you and makes you happy. Goodbye...I tried to get up but Claudia stopped me by holding on to my arm like I did before with her. He looked at me longingly...-My God, how beautiful she was! I don't know what happened to me, but bending down towards her I grabbed her chin and raised her face towards me... And I kissed her, yes, I kissed her... ON THE MOUTH! Claudia didn't flinch: She didn't accept the kiss, she didn't open her mouth to me or respond to mine, but she didn't reject me either. He didn't push me away, nor did he make any move to separate from me. He stayed next to me the entire time, enduring without expressing anything the entire time, eternal for me, that my lips pressed on his. I felt the heat of her lips, the breath of her mouth breathing on my very face... I finally moved away from her as she continued to look at me... longing? I would say yes, longingly. Finally he spoke again Please Carlos, don't go, stay with me, don't abandon me, don't leave me alone. You are the only thing I have now... Look Carlos, if you want I could... Please Claudia, don't talk nonsense. That wouldn't solve anything, maybe it would just end up breaking this friendship. Yes, I want you but... I already told you before, because I love you, I love you like I can never love again. I, Claudia, don't just want your body... I want you whole, with your soul and your heart. You know you wouldn't be happy; You cannot be happy with a person you do not love. If I accepted, sooner or later, I would lose you, both as a woman and as a friend, and I don't want that, it would be losing you irremissibly: I would rather keep your friendship than enjoy a happiness that would end up destroying us both. But I'm not going to be with you either, by your side. I'm sorry Claudia, I know you need to lean on me these days, but you'll have to manage on your own. I know you will. For me Claudia you are Heaven and Hell: Do you know what Tantalus' torture was? The Gods condemned Tantalus to have an ocean of fresh water and delicious fruits within his reach eternally, but when he needed to drink or eat, everything moved away from him. The same thing happens to me with you: You, so beautiful, so adorable, the object of my love and desire, so close to me, but also so far away, so formidably far away. I would go crazy and... in the long run... who knows!... maybe even... one day I would forget to respect you... I would attack you iniquitously, and that's not it! Believe me Claudia, the best thing is to separate us, say... more than goodbye... see you forever! Claudia remained silent. He clearly noticed the time he was passing. I felt immense pity towards that woman who was my life... and my death... Finally Claudia, heaving a deep sigh, replied. I think you're right. I am selfish to seek your comfort without thinking about what that means to you. Sorry. Yes, the best thing is to say goodbye... But, remember Carlos, I am your friend and I will always be. And I know that you will also be my friend forever. If you ever need me, don't hesitate to call me, don't hesitate Carlos, please. I promise you that I want to love you the way you want, but... And you know?... Right now I was thinking about what my life would be like living with you... as a couple. And I know that I would live well, peacefully, even happily. Even giving myself to you will not be difficult for me, much less painful. But I also know that it wouldn't be fair for either of us. I could not offer you my passion: In me you would find, yes, affection, but almost, almost fraternal, not the ardent dedication of a woman in love; and that would hurt me even if I also knew that, physically, it made you happy. You are right Carlos. Do you think we should leave now?... Here I don't think we're doing anything anymore! We got up and without saying anything else we went out into the street. Soon I stopped a taxi and opened the door, helping Claudia get in. You're not going up, right Carlos? There was no question in his words, just a resounding statement. It was the quintessential farewell and we both knew it. I remained silent and she closed the vehicle door. She reached out her hand outside the window and brought it to my face, while also sticking her bust out. I responded to her invitation by leaning towards her and searching her cheeks with my lips, but her mouth surprised me when, unexpectedly, she caught my lips between hers in a kiss that made me reach for the sky. That kiss lasted several seconds, with his hands caressing my cheeks. Then he left me saying goodbye Goodbye Carlos, may you have a good life. And that's where it all ended. Claudia finally closed the taxi door and gave her address to the taxi driver, so the vehicle slowly started to pick up speed moments later. I stayed there, rooted to the sidewalk, watching her walk away from me. I could see how Claudia pressed her face to the rear window and waved goodbye. I raised an arm in response to his farewell. Finally, Claudia vanished into the distance and the car that was carrying her disappeared confusedly in the fluid traffic of that quiet street in the Salamanca neighborhood. I turned my steps like an automaton. No blood seemed to flow through my veins; It was cold, poised. In his throat, a lump that didn't let anything through: No saliva, no air... nothing. And a very characteristic stinging flowed into my eyes. I think that night was the only time I have cried in my life. By inertia, my feet took me to the subway, to the Velásquez station. There I went down the stairs towards the interior and I too got lost in the human traffic of corridors and platforms. From the day after separating from Claudia I wanted to start a life very different from the one I had led until then, rather lazy and unconcerned with anything other than having a good time. I started by getting immersed in work, never finding the time to leave. I worked more hours than a night watchman, although they had little economic benefit, since I did them on my own, not on behalf of the hospital. That helped me keep my mind busy, so Claudia's memories faded and disappeared while I was in La Paz. The bad thing was when I went out, when I was free, locked in the empty apartment. How long those hours seemed to me! But the worst were the nights, a prisoner of insomnia. The memory of Claudia didn't let me live, it drove me crazy. Sometimes I thought that the remedy was worse than the disease, because before, at least, I saw her, I was close to her, and although she also made me suffer in the end, at least for a while I enjoyed the pleasure of seeing her and admiring her. More than once I was on the verge of throwing all that therapy away and calling her. But I didn't do it, some sanity imposed itself on me in the end: No, I shouldn't call her. And for both. Without my company, she was free to restart the normal life she had led before meeting Marcos and me. And she could find that man who really loved her and with whom she also fell in love, thus closing this whole, truly unfortunate, chapter of her life. For me, in the long run, it would also be the best because, if I returned to her and it turned out that she fell in love with a man like that, what would become of me? Another blow, like the one I took when she and Marcos became lovers, once again to witness the happiness of both before my eyes, and I to rot with rage and jealousy.... No, this was better, trying to break with that past that was, is, hell for me. There is no doubt: I too must close the pages of my life that Claudia fills; All of that must go into memory, a distant and beautiful memory, because having met Claudia I could not deny. Although,...Who knows!... Couldn't it happen that one day I would meet another "Claudia" who would even correspond to me? But the truth, for now, is that I was having a good time. Insomnia led me to take to the streets and spend half the night wandering through an almost deserted Madrid. (Yes, almost deserted. At that time, in the late 1960s, although Madrid had a little more than three million inhabitants, life was simpler, so staying up late was rather rare.) For some time I even began to become addicted to drinks at "Chicote" and some other "girls" bars like that, or in the very bohemian "Cuevas de Sésamo", almost the only places open in the wee hours of the morning. But that didn't last long, because I told myself that it was foolish to leave the hell of gambling to fall into that of alcohol, so that nocturnal wandering ended in hygienic walks through Madrid, until fatigue and sleep brought me home. On the professional side things started to look pretty good for me. I had been living away from Claudia for about three weeks when one day, while the "eminence" and I were washing and disinfecting our hands, ready to perform an intervention on a patient, the "old man" told me Doctor Jimeno, I see with pleasure that, in recent weeks, you are focusing much more on work, on your profession. That's good, and I'm very happy for you. Frankly, you were on a very bad path, and it was a shame, because you have the makings of a surgeon, a good surgeon, and you were ruining everything. Keep it up, Jimeno, you won't regret it. I simply thanked him, but he made a deep impression on me. I thought of him as a despotic and insensitive person, but look, he even seemed almost human. but that didn't end there. About a month later, he told me on a Thursday when we were both almost done for the day. Doctor Jimeno, today you worked for the last time as an assistant. From Monday he will begin working as an assistant in my team. Congratulations. Oh, you can take tomorrow Friday off. In case you need to buy something... or want to celebrate your new situation, I was shocked. I would finally be a real surgeon! And with a not inconsiderable income. That afternoon I went to my parents' house to tell them the news, which was sensational. I spent the entire afternoon there, chatting and celebrating the big event. My father was beyond happy and, above all, satisfied with his son, and my mother, let alone... But what mattered most to me was seeing my father so proud of his son. For a long time we barely had any contact with each other, because my "antics", the ones that Marcos literally dragged me into and that I so willingly supported, made his life bitter to the point that he stopped talking to me and I decided to leave my father's house and live on my own. The pace of life that I was leading at that time, of being drunk almost all day and of "timba" night in and night out, could not be accepted by my parents, so the fights were almost daily until I decided that, to become independent, to live on my own. But since I shook off Marcos, almost two months ago, I have completely changed, as I have already said. And my father also began to change his attitude towards me. But today was the "desideratum." How happy and proud I was to see my father, so happy with me, so proud of me! It was a wonderful day, complete from the morning, when the "eminence" promoted me to practicing surgeon. But the adventures of that day would not end there, no. The most important thing would come later, when I arrived home at night from my parents'. When I entered the house the phone bell was still ringing but I was late to pick up: When I was going to do it it stopped ringing. Although I picked up anyway, no one was on the line anymore. I didn't worry and went to the bedroom to change. I hadn't had dinner yet, because I didn't want to stay at my parents' house anymore, despite what they, my mother especially, insisted that I have dinner with them. So I thought I would put on something more comfortable, in Madrid it was already starting to get hot, and so I would go down and have a drink at the nearby bar. But I didn't have time other than to take off my jacket, I couldn't even finish taking off my tie when the phone rang again. With my tie half undone I returned to the living room and picked up the phone. Carlos?... It's... it's me... Claudia. How are you? Claudia! Claudia again!... For a moment I was unable to articulate a word... She again! And how sweet his voice sounded in my ears! For a moment it seemed to me that time stopped then, when I saw her for the last time, because before me I saw her again saying goodbye from the back window of the taxi in which she disappeared from my sight. Claudia insisted Carlos? Are you there? Yes Claudia... here I am... I'm glad to hear from you, how are you doing? Good Carlos. Good. Where are you? This has been three days of trying to talk to you. Clear! Golfing again, right? You're wrong, Claudia. That's over forever. Now I am a very formal person. What happens is that I don't leave the hospital until quite late, sometimes after eight in the afternoon. And when I'm out... well, I stay in the streets, squares and parks of Madrid waiting for sleep to come... You get into my mind as soon as I leave the hospital... and I can't even sleep! That's why I spend hours out there, wandering aimlessly. I was silent and Claudia was also silent for a moment. Then she spoke Carlos I need to talk to you, it's important, it really is important Carlos. Whenever you want, tomorrow if it's so urgent. No Carlos. It has to be tonight. Please come home, I'll wait for you. Have you had dinner? No Claudia, I haven't had dinner yet. But...why is there such a rush? Can't you really wait until tomorrow? Claudia, I'm exhausted, hungry and I have to get up early tomorrow. Leave it for tomorrow woman. Surely anything can wait. Come on Claudia, don't be a girl to me. No Carlos, I can't wait. Please come home tonight. I haven't had dinner yet either, we can have dinner together.... and, if you want... you can spend the night at my house and tomorrow go to La Paz directly from here. Please, please... come, come quickly!... If you don't come, I'll go to yours!.... And with dinner for both of us! He hung up the phone without giving me time to respond. Claudia again, my glory and my hell, my happiness and my torment, my torment of Tantalus! But...what could I do? As always, run after her! Not even half an hour had passed when I was there, knocking on his door after saying goodbye to the taxi that took me to his house. She came out to open it to me instantly and I thought I would die when I saw her: She was wonderful, prettier, more desirable than I had ever seen her. And I had never seen her like this, wearing a summery, very light, lounge-style camisole, shirt-style with buttons that reached almost to her waist and only reached no more than mid-thigh. And the most surprising thing was when he put his arms around my neck and kissed me very close to the corner of my lips, practically touching them. But it didn't stop there, but after that unforgettable kiss he pressed himself closer to me, gently caressing my cheeks and hair. God, I wasn't wearing anything underneath! I knew it when I felt her breasts crash against me with the "pitons", hard and upright, attacking my chest. He immediately separated from me, but I thought I saw an artfully mischievous expression on his lips and in his eyes. Sir, what were you trying to do now... shock me to death? When he left me he said Go into the living room and make yourself comfortable Carlos. It's a little hot, you'd better take off your jacket and tie, don't worry about me because you can see that I'm very comfortable, very comfortable at home. Help yourself to something, whatever you want... In the bar cabinet you have whiskey, ginger... I don't know, I think something else. You know, I drink little. Oh, and on the table a wonderful red wine from Ribera del Duero. Whatever you serve, give me a glass too. I'll be with you right away, just the finishing touches to dinner. Indeed, I got rid of the jacket and tie as well as rolling up my shirt sleeves. I chose to serve two glasses of wine, one for Claudia and one for me. Soon Claudia appeared with a tray full of small plates with whatever she prepared: A dinner based on "tapas", empanadas, croquettes, shrimp with "gabardine" (battered and sautéed in the pan), squid and of course, sausage: Jabugo ham that resurrected a dead man plus chorizo and loin from Salamanca Dinner passed without anything in particular. Claudia was talkative and fun. He seemed happy to me in those moments. He was teasing me about how he was still faithful to him, because he still didn't have a girlfriend; also so he was their "Fearless and Blameless" knight, like those legendary "Knights Errant" from the Medieval Books of Chivalry, Sir Lancelot, Amadís de Gaula or Tirant lo Blanc. For my part, I informed her of my good luck in the hospital: I was already a surgeon with all rights. Dinner finished and we moved to the sofa, both of us taking a seat on the sofa with some coffees and a few glasses of brandy in front of us; I was trying not to notice the effect that Claudia's camisole had on me: When she sat down, the bottom edge had risen almost to her groin. How I was putting on the damn garment! Those wonderful thighs showed off almost in all their splendor and... knowing that she wasn't wearing anything underneath! There came a time when I felt frankly uncomfortable because of the state I was reaching, not even knowing what to do or what to wear so that "it" wasn't so obvious. Thank goodness Claudia didn't seem to notice anything because... she was so calm! After a few more trivialities, and after I told him to say something so important that he had to tell me that he couldn't wait until tomorrow, he started to say Carlos, I'm in love. I take back the state that Claudia had me in, because the news left me cold as an iceberg and "that" disappeared as if by magic. Tremendously angry, I jumped up while I was yelling at him rather than telling him. And to tell me this you make me come to your house tonight! You could have kept it to yourself, not told me anything and married the guy if you wanted to. He would have been more merciful to me. Are you perhaps taking pleasure in making me suffer, I have treated you so badly? Claudia remained impassive, exhibiting a calmness that exasperated me... I would have slapped her at that moment! Carlos, you are my best friend and this, being in love, makes me very, very happy. You yourself told me that you wanted me to be happy and that you wouldn't mind if I fell in love with a man if he really loved me. You'll understand that I had to tell you. He was still standing there, angry, looking at her. It was not possible what his eyes were telling me: Mocking flashes danced in it and I also saw that on his lips, a mocking smile... He was laughing at me, at my torture! He was torturing me with full knowledge, with full intention! Then my fury exploded. A wild beast that I didn't know emerged from within me, and pounced on Claudia. I ripped off almost all the buttons that closed the front of her camisole, revealing the splendid beauty of her breasts, white as milk and smooth as drum leather, showing off the two pretty pinkish areolas, in the center of which were the pointed nipples that seemed to say: "Suck me, lick me, caress me." At the same time my mouth was screwed to his.... But Claudia will never stop surprising me and from then on I didn't understand anything, but I let myself be carried away by the magic of the moment. Because Claudia, again, didn't reject me but trapped my neck in her arms and God how she hugged me, how she pulled me towards her! And how he kissed me! Because it wasn't me who kissed her but it was Claudia who kissed me. And in what way! The "mocking" that she hit me was incredible, how she moved her tongue in my mouth, how she caressed my own tongue with it.... I was in glory and surrendered to her without conditions. For a moment I had to remove my mouth from hers because I was already out of breath, but that was only a few seconds, because I immediately returned to that glass of ambrosia and she continued with her tireless and wonderful "snogging" until I couldn't take it anymore. I separated from her and collapsed on the couch, looking for a comfortable place to rest a little and recover somewhat. Claudia, loving as I had never seen her, helped me lie down at the angle that the back of the sofa formed with my arm, making me practically lie down, leaning on the edge of the sofa and my feet resting on the coffee table. When I settled in this way she lay down next to me, snuggling into my chest and shoulder. She took my hand and placed it on her breasts, while saying in the sweetest voice I had ever heard. Caress me Carlos. Well yes darling, I'm in love, very, very in love, but... with you, my fool! I finally realized it, that you were the man of my life, my man and that without you I can no longer live. Yes Carlos, I swear to you, it's not a lie, I love you as you wanted and not from now, but from long ago. When I was still with Marcos I already loved you, not him. I just didn't realize it... How stupid I was!... But I finally found out... and I couldn't take it anymore without you knowing, without you doing to me what you're doing to me. Because I'm your girlfriend Carlos, your girlfriend... and you're my boyfriend, my real boyfriend. Was it or wasn't it important that you came home tonight? So I was already in a mess. Would he be in Paradise and I would not find out? Or, had I gone completely crazy and was suffering from hallucinations of bread and butter? Well no, it shouldn't have been because, of course, I was at Claudia's house and... with her breasts in my hands, caressing them! And Claudia is here, next to me, with that camisole that drives me crazy. She even spoke to me... What was she telling me?... God, she loves me, she is in love with me... she... SHE IS MY GIRLFRIEND... I must pinch myself... well yes, I am awake, I notice the pinches. My God, my God, miracle, miracle! Claudia, please, tell me that this is not a dream, tell me that it is true... THAT YOU LOVE ME, THAT YOU WANT TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND! Of course you are not dreaming, my love, and, it is not that I want to be your girlfriend, IT IS THAT I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND, my love. What a cute face you make for me! A true "enthralled fool!" To eat it! And he almost ate it, well... what a bite all over his cheek! We ended up laughing, kissing, caressing each other... By the way, my darling, what it cost me to get you to "start". You are a "paradito" my "enthralled fool" that's it. I saw that not even what I wore could do it... And what a laugh it made me see how you tried to hide "this" Lord! He had taken his hand... "There", yes, right... "there"! And "it" was caressing it! She then murmured in my ear with the most tender and, at the same time, most insinuating voice I had ever heard before. You are very "burrito" my love. You want me a lot, right? Listen my darling: I am yours, I belong to you entirely and I will always be yours. If you want it, if you want to possess me, here you have me. Take me to bed and make me yours, make me a woman, your woman, my love. I repeat, I am yours, all of me, my entire being is yours, and I make an offering of my maidenhood to you, I give it to you, I give it to you as a sign of eternal love. Yes, I possessed her, I made her a woman, my wife, and Claudia revealed herself to me as a woman, a tremendously passionate female. It didn't turn out to be hot, no, it was, it's torrid, a volcano erupting that devastates everything, that leaves me completely exhausted. With sensuality and enormous mischief he told me: "I will always have you full of me, so you will never want to meet anyone else but me." And how can I desire anyone else, having her, who is not a woman, she is THE WOMAN, the archetype of the human female individual. But this did not take place that night, in his house, but almost a month later, the night of the day we got married. Because Claudia had the WEDDING NIGHT that she always wanted to have. A night that is unforgettable for both of us. That other night, when he so lovingly offered himself to me at his house, I told him Claudia, and... wouldn't you prefer that we leave that for our Wedding Night? Feigning anger, he replied You, the thing is to reject me! Ha ha ha. (hugging me) Thank you honey! That is what I always dreamed and desired, to be able to wear a white wedding dress at my wedding... WHITE, VERY WHITE! That first night together, our Wedding Night, is unforgettable, but not the only one, since since then there are few nights in which it is not repeated. And it gets better, well of course, we are becoming more and more connected. Involved in all aspects of our life, we live it in intimate communion for each other. And of course, in this aspect of marital intimacy almost more than in any other. For that intimacy lived in absolute dedication to one another, seeking one's own happiness in the happiness of the loved one, is what makes love imperishable, what makes love grow greener every night and remain fresh, alive until the end of life. Twenty years and three children have passed since Claudia and I got married, two girls and a boy. Two years ago, I already left behind the line of sixty and Claudia is only one away from reaching it. I am no longer in La Paz as an assistant surgeon; No, now I am a trauma surgeon with some renown and I head that department in another recently opened Madrid hospital. It is now almost five in the morning on a Saturday and here I am, in the small study where Claudia and I share the few hours that I can usually spend at home with her, finishing these lines that I write as a monument in homage to the most wonderful of women. Also today, like so many other nights, Claudia has pulled me towards the bedroom with that phrase that I love "My enthralled fool, come with your little wife" and once again, the umpteenth time, she has once again given me the splendid sweetness of her body, doing good by keeping me full of her. And, also like so many other nights, I entered the bedroom a moment ago and was enthralled by the magnificent beauty of her body, even at almost sixty years old. She is asleep, naked on the bed, without sheets to cover her because even though summer is ending, there is some heat in Madrid. And, as always, her body dazzles me: It is the most beautiful and sensual thing anyone can imagine. And, it is his body, Claudia's body. END .