Like many other authors, I like to write in many categories, it is a challenge to be able to do something worthy on vari

Like many other authors, I like to write in many categories, it is a challenge to be able to do something worthy on various topics, because it makes you have to work harder when you don't master the topic, and the most difficult for me, without a doubt, is “Confessions”, because if there is one thing I am clear about, it is that what I write here has to be true, it is a matter of self-love, I cannot invent or fantasize, for that there are other sections. And my life is quite simple, I don't have much to tell, I have been married to the same woman for fourteen years, whom I have known for twenty, I am forty-five years old, and I have a ten-year-old child. Since I met her, there has not been another woman in my life and I hope it is reciprocal, we have fun and healthy sex, we have done some exhibitionist things, she eats me very well, and she swallows everything. When you can laugh while you fuck, the relationship is good, and we laugh a lot. Sometimes it's sex, and sometimes it's love, tenderness, there are times for everything. I have a normal device, so you have to make up for the size with skill, which I think I have. Physically, my wife is much better than me in everything, taller, prettier, sexier, with more tits, she is a very pretty woman, and over the years she is improving, like good wine. She only had one but, and it was anal sex, she had resisted us for many years, she is an open woman and she let me try everything, but with her conditions, I couldn't touch her anus with my fingers, so it was impossible to go beyond kissing the entrance to her anus with my glans. He had never let me put a finger in there, never, he said he was embarrassed, that it bothered him, that it was very unpleasant, and as time went by, the thing became an obsession, and even more so when I had already enjoyed anal sex with previous relationships, and I missed it. One day I got tired, and I told her that if she didn't let me dilate her with my fingers with lubricant as God intended, I wouldn't try anymore, that it would be a waste of time, and that's where it ended. A few hints from time to time, I won't say that he didn't let it fall, but without putting too much pressure. One day she surprised me by telling me that we could try it, that she was ready. -With preliminary fingers, and with lubricant? Will you let me dilate it well first? –I told him. -Yes, but don't talk to me or say anything to me while you do it. -Deal done. When? -On Wednesday, the child is left out. That week I went to work with joy and everything, something rare for me. When the day arrived, I prepared as if I were going to have open heart surgery on someone, deep bath, thorough brushing, shaving, everything, I didn't want anything to disturb the moment. When I thought I was impeccable, my wife still surprised me by saying that I had to cut my nails, which I obviously didn't refuse, but then she filed them and everything, something she had never done with me. I would have let her dye my hair pink, if I could get her into that dark hole of desire once and for all. Once ready and in the room, we began another negotiation. -Turn off the light. –she said. -Then I'm not going to see shit, we had agreed that you were going to let me do it, we'll put the little one on the table. -It's a lot of light, put something on it. There I remembered the mistakes of other times, of having put red panties on the lamp to give a romantic touch, and smelling burnt when you are at the height of the moment. I put the lamp behind the table and made a little hut out of books until I got the right light, very dim, but allowing the holes to be differentiated, making sure that this time the books didn't burn. I had browsed the internet and found out that contrary to popular belief, the best position for the first few times is with the woman lying on her back in bed, so I let her know. -Don't talk to me, don't say anything, and if I tell you to stop, do it. –said my wife as she grabbed my pillow and covered her head with it. At this point my cock was already bursting, I went to the living room to look for a cushion and put it under his buttocks so that it was higher. I spread her legs, and with a bottle of standard lubricant, I began the task, the girl at the pharmacy wanted to sell me one with a cold effect, but I, immovable, did not let myself be convinced, the first time, that it was without strange things. My wife let me do it at my leisure, I put a little finger in, then two, I noticed how it distended, I don't know what expression she had because she covered her face with the pillow, and I didn't want to ask her afterwards, when I thought she was ready I brought my glans closer to that little ass that was at the perfect height perched on her cushion, I rested her legs on my shoulders, and made contact, it was sublime, I had used up almost the entire bottle of lubricant, I pushed lightly, and I noticed how the anus my glans hugged me. My wife still didn't say anything, no complaints, no moans, absolute silence. But something happened to me, I started to think. Because I hurt him, he won't let me try in life, but if the tip has entered, now it doesn't have to hurt anymore. And there, in that situation I have long desired, with a beautiful woman, whom I love, with her legs spread open and giving herself to me, with the tip of my cock already inserted into her anus, fears begin to come in. I will try to look for the phrases that were going through my head, although I know it is impossible: “If it hurts him, I won't hurt him anymore.” “he's having a bad time” “Why are you doing this? If you don't like it” “He does it because he loves me” “If I loved her like she loved me, I wouldn't continue.” "I'm a bastard" “I'm going to hurt her” “I don't want to hurt her” “he does it for me” “you are a pig” “he doesn't deserve this” and things like that, but in bursts and all in a row, That long desired thing was within my reach, I just had to give a little push, but something was affecting me, it was difficult for me to breathe, it seemed as if the air I was breathing had no oxygen and I needed to take more and more, my heart accelerated in a way that scared me, a feeling of anguish invaded me, I couldn't continue, I couldn't hurt her, she didn't like it, she was doing it for me, it wasn't right, something was squeezing my chest, rising up my throat, I guess you could call it emotion, my eyes became moist, and I was aware that she was offering me her total dedication, I understood the grandiosity of the gesture, not the fact itself, and I couldn't continue, I left as if something was burning me, she was worried by that suddenness, she didn't know what was happening, she was still covered with the pillow, I didn't understand anything. I lay down next to him and little by little I regained normal breathing, and my heart rate also slowed to a tolerable rate. -Are you OK? –she told me anguished, already freed from the pillow. -Yes, nothing happens. – I said in an unbelievable voice. -What's the matter? –already really nervous. After three or four questions, I had to tell him the truth, because I was really scared and I was getting more and more worried, I thought I was having an attack or something. After four or five minutes, during which she did not stop looking at me with concern, I was already much better, it must have been an anxiety crisis, or whatever it is called, I don't understand much about those things, that was the first and the last time that something similar has happened to me, and I don't feel like looking for information about it. He put his hand on my cheek, and the look he gave me, a mixture of love and relief at seeing that I was okay, was worth all the money in the world. That night we slept in each other's arms as if it were the first time. Then there were other nights, in which we finished what we started, but none like the first time.