My lungs suck in air frantically. I feel like do something and I don't know what. No, this time I haven't screwed up. Ca

My lungs suck in air frantically. I feel like do something and I don't know what. No, this time I haven't screwed up. Can't relax I'm overwhelmed but I can't specify the reason. I can't either stop thinking, a thousand absurd ideas bombard my mind. I look at myself in the mirror, I didn't like it. I have blonde hair, my ears are marked with signs of piercings. that I haven't had since my father ripped one out of me without healing. I weigh ten kilos less. I have long hair. I don't bite my nails. And dressed well. But first nothing of this was happening. And I think I was happier. At least I confessed to them after three years deceiving them that I am not in Law. I study history, and I changed university. I left my career, my jealous boyfriend, and my job at Corte Inglés. Now I am different inside, but I don't recognize myself. I have had consequences. I'm going to a store, I buy a plaid skirt, I take out the marteensI paint myself black the eyes I can't be me again. That even though the monkey dresses silk is true. Then I undress, I'm going to take a very hot shower. Naked am I. I touch my body, I'm still me. Stretch marks remind me of I went. The water falls, slides down my breasts yes, they get excited like me because of the desire for be touched I leave the sponge to move to my hands, and gently but firmly I go over my curvesand a shock tells me that I'm wet inside too. Let then my body falls, remaining on my knees, and the solitary dance begins from my hand Yes, you have been able to handle my external appearance, but my body still bothers me. He belongs, he is my lover, and only he responds to me in such a way the legs are They harden, my back curves, the water keeps falling, I want to drink it. Not anymore I think, my arm has all the strength of my body concentrated. and I don't think about Nobody, it's enough for me to watch myself squirt to feel contractions and fall. There I am, look at me, lying on the shower tray, without feeling my legs Says the psychologist I have anxiety. I call it the desire to feel. And to be free.