I really don't know when this story started. I had never before considered being unfaithful to my partner......sex in my

I really don't know when this story started. I had never before considered being unfaithful to my partner......sex in my life It made no sense, it was, like many others, just another need, a relief. practically unnecessary, I would almost say, a nuisance. And yet here I am, exhausted in a bed other than mine, with a man from the who barely swims and is completely naked. And while he snoozes next to me, I turn back to find out how I got there. here. My name is MARTA, and I have been married for......an eternity!! seventeen Years of marriage seem like nothing, but you have to live them day by day, week by week. week, month after month.........and year after year. I got married very much in love, and like every woman, excited about everything that plan......house, children, family.... At twenty-three years old, life was rosy and I was convinced that I could eat the world The first two years were great; We shared, my husband and I, everything that a good couple could share. Our economy was buoyant, and whims entered without difficulty. Paco, my husband, finished law school the same year we got married, and his father, renowned prestigious lawyer, of course!! he placed it in his cabinet immediately. At first everything remained the same...we were the envy of our friends, because We saw a consolidated couple. At that time I was not working. Nor did I aspire to much more than waiting for my husband and making love daily. with him. Even though I had studied secretarial work, my world revolved around Paco and my Availability towards him or her needs was a priority. So much so, that this is how he got used to having me. Always available, always ready, always ready for when he needed a lover, a hostess, a companion at his increasingly frequent dinners business..... He fulfilled all my expectations, and in order to fulfill his, I continued tedious and strict diets so that my silhouette would not change one bit, because even that at first Paco constantly told me how great I was, from time to time From time to time I would notice him scrutinizing me out of the corner of his eye and then tell me: "Honey, "You could go to the gym a couple of times a week......do it for me" or phrases like "you've gained weight again haven't you?" Those little remarks hurt me a lot, but I tried to pretend that they didn't. I listened and then ran to the bathroom to undress in front of the mirror, trying see that fat......or those imperfections that he increasingly often saw in me and that neither the scale nor I could find anywhere. Paco's absences, due to work, were becoming more and more continuous. I came home very late and almost always a little irritated and even though for my part I tried to please him in everything and make his stay at home pleasant, every time He was more dissatisfied and everything I did or said bothered him. My topics of conversation bored him and he let me know when, starting to chat he told me to shut up with "I'm not interested in anything you're telling me." counting". I then reacted like a little girl and ran to the room where He began to cry uncontrollably; Sometimes he would leave me lying there, as if I didn't existed, and he began to work in his office; others, he entered after a few minutes to excuse himself saying that it was work, that he seemed saturated and that I didn't help at all with my childish reactions; I then reproached myself that thanks to him, I enjoyed every luxury and lived without complications. _"for you everything is easy _he used to tell me_ you limit yourself to being, simply, and in The entire burden falls on me to provide you with what you demand." I understood less and less what was happening, since while it was true that We lived comfortably, I had never asked him for this lifestyle, and at some point, when I complained about how boring it was to be at home all day, when suggest that he could find me a job, he flatly refused, claiming that He was the man of the house, and it was his responsibility to support his family. thus settling the issue. When at the same time, Paco suggested increasing the family, my spirits calmed down a bit. little and I was glad, since in principle, my husband was very clear that he did not want children making noise around the house. I immediately became pregnant and when I told him, with the best of his smiles answered me: _"you see woman......now you won't be so idle, it will be good for you to take care of something". That "something" was my son, so far from feeling upset by his comment, I lived the pregnancy in a joyful and happy way, even though sometimes doubts arose, because my husband remained oblivious to everything that involved the arrival of the baby..... Our distance was increasing, since due to my pregnancy, Paco He stopped looking for me at night, as he said, for fear of hurting me or do it to the child... and every time he came home later from work or went to bed later late due to work he brought home... In such a situation, my life stopped revolving around my husband, and instead in that of my future son. Of course this distance between us hurt me, but if I tried to talk of this, she always ended up hurt by his reproaches, his ways and manners of tell me things, and it always ended up undermining my self-esteem in a way that It was increasingly difficult to recover it. I had just turned twenty-seven and felt like an old woman. Despite having a very good relationship with my family, it had also become kept somewhat apart from me, due to the jealousy that Paco professed and that He made the visits so unpleasant. I ended up not dealing with anyone, not dating anyone, I even stopped dating. prepare for Paco's arrival home, since I didn't even know when he could arrive, Not even his entrances at home were easy......always so busy, so irritable.... I gave birth one winter afternoon. We couldn't locate Paco, so I was accompanied by my mother and my sister during the 9 hours that the birth lasted. Three hours after my son Diego was born, his father came to meet him, with a huge smile, proud to have a boy at home and bragging about how well he He knew how to do things referring to the child, of course. Then he took one look at me and commented on how disastrous I looked. The situation, with the arrival of the baby, far from improving, got much worse. If Paco came home and was breastfeeding the child, he would get angry because he didn't have a plate of food prepared for him; If I was bathing the baby, I had to finish quickly to attend to him; If, being exhausted, she dozed for a while in the sofa and he would arrive, complaining about how cheap she was and how abandoned everything was. And I was sinking deeper and deeper into a depression that I didn't know how to get out of. Regarding his relationship with the child, it was simply non-existent the first few years. He never knew how to treat him, he never played with him... and of course the emotional bond that I felt for Diego, it was reduced to the minimum expression. He felt tremendous jealousy of his son, which made their coexistence even worse, and which made me focus even more on him and leave myself even more aside. husband. Our love encounters had long since ceased to be loving, to be merely sexual.....and we could go months without having sex; Although I sensed that he, on occasion, slept with other women, to my mind I had neither the time nor the desire to think about it. I learned to do without sex and I devoted myself totally to education and growth of my son. Likewise, I also learned to defend myself from the attacks that my husband and I went from being a scared young woman unable to raise her voice, to being a woman valid and brave. It is true that the situation had not improved in my marriage, but at least, my self-esteem was protected, and although he was not happy, he enjoyed a certain emotional stability that allowed me to live with a certain joy. I remember that on several occasions I raised the possibility of separating. Was Of course I was not the woman that Paco needed_ even though Paco, he just I needed himself_ just as he was not the man of my life. We were not happy, and yet he insisted on keeping the appearances and tried to convince myself that all marriages went through crisis like ours! He was so blind and so focused on himself that he didn't want to see how much there was. damaged my soul, to the point of feeling a certain repugnance for its sole presence in my life. He cared a lot about what people would say if we got divorced; what would i think Above all, his family......his friends......his classmates work...........but he didn't consider what we thought of each other at this time. heights. Despite everything, I always ended up convincing myself that with him, I would be better off. that alone..............that with a child I couldn't go very far......and endured year after year......... And over the years, I gained confidence...........in security.....and desire to live, so, upon reaching the age at which Diego could start in the school, I looked for a job as a secretary. I thought that working at my age would be very difficult......but I immediately found I work in a construction company. The salary was not very high, but it allowed me not to depend so much on my husband and silence him when he implied that he was supporting me. Flexible hours allowed me to combine school and work schedules, making things a lot easier for me, and the respectful treatment of my colleagues towards me, They made me feel like a wonderful and wonderful woman in a short time. Paco, the idea of seeing me working outside didn't bother him as much as the idea of need something and not have me on hand. I constantly reproached myself for the abandonment of my home, because just What was not done, was what he needed at that moment..... We argued constantly, because he didn't think it was necessary for me to go out of the house. to work. in addition to not valuing it and reproaching me that my salary was not enough not at all worth mentioning. When he saw that despite his opinion, I was going on with my life, he left the house with a slammed the door and didn't come back until late at night, smelling of cheap perfume and Geneva. Why did I endure living this way for so long? I still don't know. My upbringing was Catholic, I am a woman of the old school, where in the name of "good education", it is taught that women have to put up with everything that is thrown at them come on top......that's why perhaps, even knowing that it can always be changed, I never tried too hard to do it. Over time, I became very liked in the office and I have had colleagues who They have known how to treat me in a way that made me feel special. One of them was Paul. From the beginning, I felt with him, surrounded and protected. It's funny, that for years we worked side by side and barely knew anything about one from the other, and one afternoon he approached me to ask if I would have coffee with him. From that moment on, he was my confidant, my companion of laughter and tears.....and the person who encouraged me the most when I felt sad. Pablo is my boss....the eight years that differentiate us are noticeable in his maturity when try things, seeing them from another prism.... Although it is true that when Pablo looks at me. The sun rises in his eyes, I never He has shown more affection than that of a friendship. And because of my situation, I have never dared to look at it with different eyes either. But I have to confess that I once fantasized about the idea of having him as a lover. And knowing that it is close makes my days happy. At this moment I have a thirteen-year-old son, who does not need his mother other than what I offer you. forty wonderful years and a great desire to live. I usually say that I am a wonderful lady.........I have a divine body, a recovered, jovial and smiling character.....and even though I still don't know what keeps me side of my husband, I try to live a parallel life. The other afternoon, taking advantage of Diego spending the weekend with his grandparents, and Since Paco is at one of his annual conventions, I stayed in the office to advance some documents. I spent more than half the afternoon between payrolls and invoices.....and when I got up Look, there was Pablo, looking at me in a way....that I don't know......I remember having gotten very nervous when I saw him approaching me with several containers of Chinese food and a charming smile.. And then I knew it. I knew I wanted to get into bed with that man. Without thinking about anything else, without a why......without logic......I just wanted to be embraced and possessed by this wonderful man and not think about the consequences. And now I am here, lying, exhausted, in a bed other than mine, with a man I barely know anything about and completely naked. And I can say that I don't I feel bad about it and that I feel alive, and desired, and I have recovered again my identity as a woman and I will be eternally grateful to Pablo. I don't know if it was a one-night stand......or rather, a weekend week, now that I have it here, I'm not going to let it slip away until Monday in the morning!..... I don't know how this will end......I just know that I want to live it now. And I know a situation that makes me vibrate, like this, cannot be harmful. I'm 20 years old again!