thank you.We were two of those old-fashioned ones. Two

thank you. We were two of those old-fashioned ones. Two lovers of love. Two looking lost values, wanting to get to know each other and who had not yet met. We were lost in a time that did not seem like ours, lost in the time in which we lived. Gallantry is a corny word and gestures of kindness and politeness are not They exist, so upon meeting you, with your accentuated gentlemanly manner old, of strong education with your outdated way of acting, I was left captivated It is not common to find a knight who wants to fight a duel with the world, defending what he believes to be justice. You were a nonconformist of the new times, a renegade from society, a lonely walker in search of a being who thinks like you. Me too….. I had fed myself on romance novels, imagining that my life would be a fairy tale, wishing that a knight would appear who would give his life for me; always waiting for those gestures of courtesy that are so repetitive and romantic They resulted in my readings and imagination. I wanted a man who would open the car door for me, who would move the chair away to make my seat easier, so that he had eyes only for me. But I got tired of waiting for the impossible, I forgot all that and I adapted to the It was that I had to live. Then, by chance, we met. So hackneyed, so gentlemanly, so careful in the detailsthat I tried almost everything to love you, fascinated by the fact of finding a impossible, a dream, the fantasy that I dreamed of in my time but after the first emotion of an adventure, the illusion of a possible lover, occurred in my heart plummeted back to reality. For a while I thought I was madly in love, for a while everything was pink color and smell of spring, garden of joy in my heart, breeze of air fresh in my being. It was all laughter and singing. So many attentions showered, so many details given, so many words of compliment, turned our clandestine relationship into precious moments and lasting in my heart for a while. I wanted to love you, it's true! But I never loved you and I couldn't lie to you when I you asked: -do you love me?. We were two lacking affection, believing we found in each other what we We longed, but everything was a mirage and I knew it from the beginningbecause He had been through this several times and knew the games of the mind when he heart is about. _do you love me? You asked cautiously.… And I answered: _ "not as you need." Knowing that he stuck a dagger in your heart with this, knowing that my crudeness would kill you; but my loyalty to the trust that we have in each other, knowing that you valued me for it and lying to you would be do it doubly. It hurt you, I know; A few days before we secretly kissed each other sweetly, We longed to feel each otherand now you heard "I don't love you" and no you understood nothing. You swore that I was the woman of your life, that without me nothing made sense even though We both had another life outside of us. You said that I was your complement, because we were equal and how things were going for you Knowing more and more, the more different you seemed to me. You claimed to have a lifetime of patience waiting for me. We had agreed to let things go at their own pace, not to get ahead of them. nothingbut I was suffocating at the responsibility of seeing your need for love grow. my. I was scared, I confess. And perhaps it was then, faced with that feeling of suffocation and that weight on exclusively what woke me up and brought me back to reality, I don't know. You expected so much from me, I couldn't handle it! I tried to explain it to you. I told you several times and you stayed the same. tonic and then I decided to get away from you. You didn't want to listen to reason, accusing me of having deceived you, of having played with you and it has cost me a lot to try to explain to you what has happened and You still don't understand it, harboring the hope that the one you knew will come back. to resurface and I loved you madly and you stay by my side despite having left Of course my non-feelings towards you. But it is true that there is no one blinder than him. that he doesn't want to see, and you didn't want to understand me, you didn't want to assume what I told you. he said. I do not feel proud of what has happened, because your suffering, despite everything, I make it mine. I loved you, despite your doubts about it, I lived you fully even knowing that everything was an illusion. It's easy to get carried away when you have shortcomings and someone tries to cover them. It is easy to believe in love if they treat you with sweetness, patience and a lot dear…. You did it; even now you do it and this resignation hurts and saddens me yours, this kind of humiliation of not knowing you reciprocated and yet, accept it and continue giving yourself completely to me and I presume that it is due to that acceptance that there will not be a future with me. That voluntary resignation irritated me, because it weighed on me like a stone. You continue without asking for anything, living your love in this conformity that suits you taking lives little by little. I loved you, it's true. I still love you. But I don't love the man as a man yet when for a while we both believed it! I needed to know that you loved me, it may be selfishness, I don't know... but you made me feel good, feel pretty, feel valid and you got me out of this deadly routine of children and home, of a neglected woman and a forgotten wife. With you she was simply the perfect woman, how could I give that up? And I got carried away with your passion and your feelings, like a fertile stream of hopes. And I surrendered myself to that faith, making it my own and feeding yours too. That passion made you equally perfect in my heart, even when you were a thousand years old. imperfections that if I had not accepted them as a friend first, I would never have accepted as a possible partner later. Flaws are more forgivable in a friendship than in love That blind faith didn't let me see. Poor excuse, I know, but very true. I focused on you even though our lives were already mortgaged with another person. I laughed at your thanks, I cried at your sorrows, I excused your actions and I loved you...and in my bad times you were still by my side. And yet later I stopped seeing what I was laughing about as funny for a few days. Before, I stopped crying with you and made you responsible for your actions, I stopped I made excuses for you and I started to get irritated every time I heard you. I just stopped looking at you and started looking at you! Many times I said that this of ours was not real, perhaps foreshadowing an end too hasty to arrive. And it arrived! I woke up and realized that I didn't like certain things, that certain things Your attitudes exasperated me, like your sterile attitude towards life, your constant complaints to everything and everyone, your physical abandonment and your refusal to expand intellectual horizons and understanding. That carelessness infuriated me; tea recriminated for it and you excused yourself with "I'm only good for working as a mule, it's what I've done my whole life, and if you want, I'll keep breaking my back until I faint, for you" I tried to explain to you a thousand times that you should make changes in your life to improve its quality, convincing you to look for goals, things to dobut nothing what you wanted if I didn't enter into those plans to make changes in your life! And not You wanted to understand, that outside of me, there was a lot of world to discover. And I began to be rougher, less emotional, much colder, because in the Deep down I was afraid of hurting you with my sincerity and I felt guilty for having allowed that everything got out of hand. I had encouraged you, I had allowed you to feed off me in abundance and now I didn't know how to stop this need that you felt to do it, more and more urgency, with more haste and demand. I had practically sworn eternal love to you, you had asked me for the honor of be your wife in the futurewe had drawn a beautiful time to come and I I was playing to imagine what could be possible and overnight I didn't want Nothing of the sort. And you don't understand it and I know it. How can I make you understand that you got on my nerves so much with your negative attitude? and short-sighted, that it was difficult for me to be kind and open with you!? So many times I told you to love yourself more and love me less.and always the same answer: "I don't matter, only you" and you didn't understand that in me claim I was trying to push you away and that just by loving yourself a little, I could I love you a little too. And I know that in your rancid customs, a man's word is the only thing valid. Reversing did not fit into your austere habits. I failed you, it's true… I was your world and you put your life in my hands and I trampled on it, I failed in my I tried to love you and you felt frustrated, I understand that. But instead of coming and talking to me, you decide to stick another dagger into me just as mortal, painful, certain the one I nailed to you was, according to you, that of betrayal who killed you in life, the one you stab me with, he takes it from me with six thrusts in the belly. Before the perplexed gaze of all those who saw you stab me, you only claimed saddened: _ I killed her because she was mine!