So full of her and so empty afterwardsI felt so small and

So full of her and so empty afterwards I felt so small and so big in front of that woman! So full of her and so empty afterwards… I loved her I finally told her, but she didn't believe me; I did it madly; with that madness with which adults love playing with teenagers without caring nothing and no one other than the loved one. With that impatience, with that same urgency when as a teenager everything you need for yesterday. She was my past, she was my present, and I believed that my future...my everything and my nothing, my life and my death, my breath, my lightand now my dark world. I loved her, yes...and I still love her...but she got tired of waiting for me, of playing my game, of give in and losehe got tired of putting up with my comings and goings, my fears and indecisions, my selfishness, my immaturity. And I was blind to playing with her, refusing to recognize that this thing I feel it is true love and not passion… It has become my great obsession, an acute pain with which I cannot make me even if I am condemned to accept it and have to learn to live with it. Now I beg your love. Now that definitely won't come back… My heart broke when I saw her in front of me, telling me "enough" with her eyes. red from crying. I remembered the first time I held her in my arms, when everything was new between us and her eyes had that shine of a newly in love. I watched her and wondered when was the last time I saw her look. illuminated, when, for the last time, her eyes smiled as she looked at me. Those huge, black eyes that showed curiosity in everything that They looked! And now they landed on mine, dull, sad, swollen with pain. Or how that everlasting smile disappeared that made his face a moonlight, letting its tiny ferocity peek out and illuminating magically the soul of the person who received it or that enthusiasm from the beginning, when a minimal gesture was worth a whole world. I didn't realize that it was going out, that little by little it was extinguished with my indifference and my selfishness. How little value I gave it when it was given to me without asking for anything in return! and now I long for a smile, a loving look… I loved her, it's true, but I didn't tell her because I thought she would know. I thought that was not necessary. I was wrong about so many things about her! How to believe that you would always stay by my side, Like thinking that just being there was enough for him. How to imagine that the little I gave him was enough… And now I lose her, she is saying goodbye to me and I lack air in my lungs. She tells me "enough", and it tears my soul, as she claims to have for a long time. time. And the world stops at that moment, seeing how it moves away and breaks me into a thousand pieces. And I remember her, I don't know why, in this tragic moment, cuddly between my arms, asking for caresses and giving me kisses. Drinking from my mouth, sweet, insatiable. Amusingly and mischievously claiming my "I love yous" and cuddling. I relive the taste of his mouth in mine, the feeling of his skin on my body, the smell of female while I make her mine. Every sigh, every pleasant moan, every little laugh is reborn in my mind. gushing from her throatand I know that's what I always want to hear and from her. "stay"-I begged_"I love you." But he gives me his last smile before walking away. a sad smile revealing disappointment and pain.